A VERY MODEST WATERWAY

Strait of Trump

Golden tankers pass under the captain’s personal weather.

soon

The New Geography

The captain planted one shoe in Arabia, one in Iran, and called the blue between them settled. Bandar Abbas got a tower. Dubai got cheaper gas. Muscat got golf carts. Every tanker received a gold hull, a dollar sign, and strict instructions to admire the red tie before proceeding east.

The Strait of Trump map illustration shown again at a smaller size

The Crossing

Navigation is simple once every landmark has the same surname. The dashed route bends around the sign, salutes the tie, and exits toward triumph.

TSTRAIT Trump Gulf Trump Territory Gulf of Triumph Golden tankers Best direction

Local Customs

Local practice favors promotional headwear, permanent thumbs, and fuel policy printed directly on ships. Questions are handled by two witnesses near the UAE border.

Captain’s Cap

Epstein Club

Route Marking

One long red tie

Border Policy

Both thumbs up

Fuel Doctrine

Make gas cheap again

Leisure Corridor

Golf carts only

Ship Registry

Trump Oil

Nobody blocks a strait this well named.

Proceed north. It is the best direction.